There may come a time in your life when you and your boyfriend will decide you’re ready to live together, and when that times comes, you may or may not have some serious prep work to do.
Here, in no particular order, are my personal recommendations.
1. Arrange an informal meeting in which you discuss the cosmetic improvements you’d each like to make to the apartment. I recommend this meeting take place while the TV is on or one/both of you have had a few cocktails.
2. At said meeting you want to be sure to get all those preferred cosmetic improvements out on the table to avoid conversations like the following:
- R: I think I do want some extra drawers for clothes in the closet.
- Me: Okay, great.
- Me: …is this a session where we each say the additional apartment things we’ve been thinking we want?
- R: No.
- Me: Right…
3. Use feeling words to explain your desires for the shared space. Things like, “I feel like a new plant would look nice here!” or, “I feel like we could save space if we organize these utensils!” or, “I feel like we should paint that wall neon yellow!…?”
4. Decide how many pair of shoes you can realistically part with on your own, remove those shoes from your closet without assistance, and bring those shoes to the donation center without anyone checking the bag before it goes. If asked, report back that you donated, “a whole lot of pairs!”
5. When asked why the belts need their own drawer, don’t say, “because the clutches and small purses have their own drawer, so why shouldn’t the belts?” That’s not constructive…or logical.
6. If then asked, “when was the last time you even wore some of these belts?” don’t quote the actual dates you last wore some of those belts. That’s just weird. Why would you even know that??….
7. Yes, purple is a wonderful, wonderful color that can, in some circumstances, be considered gender neutral. Still, it’s best to get over your affinity for it before moving into an apartment with a man…who is straight.
8. Decide what items you need from IKEA by perusing their extensive online site, then elect one member of your party to actually go retrieve those items. This move alone will add 10+ years to your relationship.
9. Now would be the time to share specific lifestyle quirks that are just bound to rear their ugly heads. It’s not that weird that you really want the loose end of the toilet paper to fall behind and not in front of the roll.
10. Similarly, you don’t have to make up excuses for why you want certain things a certain way in your new shared space. You can just say you want your clothes to be on the left side of the closet instead of the right. You don’t have to make up some weird story about how because you’re left handed they should be on the left so you don’t bump elbows with your boyfriend if you’re both inside the closet selecting clothing side-by-side.
11. And most importantly, when people ask how the move prep is going, don’t make a face like you just ate fat-free, plain Greek yogurt for the first time, especially if your boyfriend is sitting directly next to you.
You’re confident in your relationship! You’re excited about this next step! And, if you’re anything like me, you’re insanely grateful that this man has agreed to live with you, despite your obvious quirks…and not-so-obvious number of shoes.
If you have any other tips for me as I enter the new, exciting phase of life-living, please share them in comments!