I had a lovely conversation with a recent L.A. import last night. She was concerned about all the typical things recent L.A. imports worry about: will I meet normal people? will I find work? if I don’t find work, will I want to leave? But then she asked me something that struck me as far more mature than the things most recent L.A. imports – especially the 20-something ones – ask: do you think L.A. changed you a lot? 

I can honestly say that I have not considered that questions in the 2.5 years since I moved to this city. I’m pretty sure I wondered whether or not it would “change me” before I moved here, but I can’t even say that definitively. And, to make this post even harder to write, I can’t say whether it has or it hasn’t. Things about me have changed for sure, but I am a different person on this coast than I was on the East? Is there, technically speaking, any way to stay exactly the same?

Here’s what I’ve got so far. I am leaving out the elements related to having a boyfriend – no doubt the single greatest difference in my L.A. versus pre-L.A. life – because this is about the city, not R. Sorry R.

1. I function at a 10-15% slower and calmer pace

That doesn’t seem like a huge difference, but when you consider that I started at 150% speed and anxiety, it’s something. Things happen slower on this side of the country. People aren’t in so much of a rush. That does not seem to apply to traffic and/or the speed with which people can crowd a Zumba studio, but on the whole, I’ve taken to the chill-er lifestyle, and I’m happy for the change…I think. 

2. I am way healthier

Cliches are true, and this one is huge. There are more healthy places to eat and more people eating healthy food. There is also more access to fresh fruits and veggies all year round. Do people eat them to be healthy or to be thin? I don’t know. I eat them for both reasons. That said, I have not and will not become a vegan (sorry Liz), not even just on Mondays, and I’m never doing a juice cleanse again (that is just too much damn juice). 

3. I am way more sober

I never had a drinking problem, per say, but I did drink consistently in New York, and in quantities greater than, say, two drinks per sitting. Here I can honestly fill in that box for 0-5 units of alcohol per week on the doctor’s office questionnaire. Is that because I’m older, wiser, and in a relationship? Is that because anything more than three drinks leaves me with a pounding head ache the next morning? Is it because I have to drive everywhere I intend to drink? Or is it just because of the culture of this city? The answer is all of the above, but I can tell you from my recent weeks in NYC, you somehow ignore all those reasons outside of the car thing when you’re in that city. I think it has something to do with the millions of people happily drinking at the millions of establishments. It’s like a city-wide peer pressure.

4. I desire to be way more fit

I am not way more fit. I’m actually less fit because I used to walk two miles a day every day to work in NYC. But I really want to hike and bike and spin and yoga and do this new thing that’s like ballet meets yoga meets a slumber party. EVERYONE here seems like they’re doing all those things, all the time. I know that’s not true, but it feels true. So, I’m going to say it. I’m more body conscious here in L.A. Part of that is good because it makes me desire to take care of myself. Most of that is bad because it’s just a product of comparing myself to every trainer-sculpted L.A. body. Either way, I think it’s pretty unavoidable.

5. I talk about entertainment ALL the time

People from outside this world often ask if I have friends who don’t work “in the industry.” I do. I actually have more than I thought I might. But I talk about movies, film, TV, scripts, projects, and people in the industry with all of those people, all the time, too. This is an industry town. It would be like moving to D.C., working in politics, and not talking about politics all/most of the time. I moved here so that I could talk about entertainment all the time, and so I take full advantage of the ability. So far it hasn’t gotten old, but I suspect it will.

6. I wake up super early

They say you don’t know how a warm weather climate will affect you until you live in a truly warm weather climate. They are right. Its greatest affect on me is that I cannot sleep past 8:30AM, 9AM on weekends. You open your eyes on any given day at 7:30AM and it’s sunny. If you’re like me, this makes you feel instantly guilty about closing your eyes and wasting a gorgeous, warm day. Breakfast starts at 9AM here, even on weekends. The best hiking/walking/running/driving happens before noon. This city just supports that whole “early bird catches the worm” thing.        

7. I have no sense of what is “far away” anymore

Everything in my former life is far from L.A. so a five hour plane ride no longer phases me. In April we are going to New York for three days. I said, “oh that’s a nice, long weekend,” when we decided on the date. This will get old eventually, but hopefully by then I’ll be able to afford First Class.  

8. I know how to do my hair

This one is vein, but truer than all the rest. Everyone here does their hair. Not, like, washes it and dries it. They make it look really nice using a tool I’ve come to worship called the curling wand. Now I too do my hair all wavy and nice, and I love it. I don’t care how shallow this sounds. It is relaxing and fun to do your hair. I love how it looks when I’m done. I can’t believe it took me 27 years to buy a curling iron, and learn how to use it. I am a convert, and it feels good.

9. I have lost sight of some elements of normal, American life

I can’t say that I was being fully educated on everyday America during my years spent in the West Village, but the process has continued here, in earnest. Here most gay couples have children. Here many couples of all kinds have children before they’re married, if they ever get married. Some people are bi-coastal, other people are tri-coastal, and then I know a few people who don’t technically live anywhere. Half of my friends are pushing 30 and still en route to pursuing the career of their dreams. People go to Palm Springs, Vegas, Santa Barbara, Big Bear and San Diego like it’s the mall in the next town over. This is a weird place, to most of the world, but it it’s becoming less and less weird to me. I like to think it’s opened my mind to myriad lifestyles, most of which I will not ultimately choose, but many more of which I now understand and respect.

There more, like I wear tons of color and way less structured clothes now or I aspire to live in a quiet neighborhood vs. a bustling city street but those all feel superficial. Then there are things like, I spend far less money than I used to and I care way less about what people think, but those feel like coming-of-age, not L.A. specific effects.

All in all, I think I’m fairly close to the same person that moved out here 2.5 years ago. Though, I’d venture to say I’m smarter on account of the hours a day I spend listening to NPR on my car radio (the only thing that keeps me calm in traffic), but that’s assuming anything I hear is actually being processed.

What say you, fellow L.A. imports?