R’s good friend invited us to a concert last night. The day was Monday. The show didn’t start until 9:45, which really means 10:00 because nothing cool ever actually starts on time. The venue is about fifteen minutes from our house, so not far but not so close that we can’t not go. We’ve seen the band before, but they’re fantastic, as is this friend, so we’d both definitely enjoy seeing them again. We already had food for dinner, plus I now work from the room directly connected to the kitchen, so finding time to both eat and attend this concert wouldn’t be a problem, especially since it starts at 9:45/10. We had a really busy weekend, but we technically got plenty of sleep, so it’s not like we need to make up for lost time by going to bed at 8:30 tonight (note: that’s a joke. We’ve never actually gone to bed at 8:30, but not out of lack of desire).

In other words, we should go to this concert. It would be really fun. We’ll catch up with people we know and support a group that we both want to see succeed.

And yet all I did since the minute R told me about the show was try to come up with legitimate excuses not to go, then yell at myself for being so lame/old/boring, then yell back that I don’t have to go to some late-night concert if I don’t want to because that’s what being mature is all about, then calmly remind myself that 10pm is not “late night.” It was a rough 3:30 to 3:45 over here.

Five years ago going to this concert would have been a no-brainer. It would literally take zero power of the brain to decide that we would attend. It is something fun to do involving many things we love. Now, technically speaking five years ago R and I would not have been together, and I would be living in New York, but I think I can still say with a strong degree of certainty that both of us would have attended whatever version of this concert existed in that hypothetical past.

So, what changed? Is it our interest? Have we seen enough shows of this nature to sit it out? Is it our energy level? Are we just too tired? Or is it our perspective? We now know that we don’t need to be there for the sheer sake of being there. We will see this band again, many times. It is Monday, and it would be nice to relax, even if we don’t need to relax. Also, while we will see friends, the quality of time spent at a very loud, 10PM concert is kind of negligible.

No. Of course we didn’t go. We made fish on the grill then watched a 2 hour HBO documentary on scandal in the priesthood (which I highly recommend, if you can stomach it). I think we didn’t go because of a combination of all of the above elements. Also, it was below 60 degrees, and I find it hard to motivate when it’s that cold out.

Do I feel bad that we missed the show? Yes, but only because I really do adore this friend and what to support all of his endeavors. Did I feel bad for myself? No.

I think the younger you are, the more things you do because you think you should, whether or not you actually want to do them. That doesn’t necessarily apply to this concert, but it applies to dozens of things I attended at 10pm on a Monday night when I was 25.

I think the older you get, the more you do what you actually want to do. That is, of course, until you have kids, at which point you never do what you actually want to do again.

So if you think about it, this very small valley of time between living by 20-something obligation and doing everything for your kids is really precious. We shouldn’t squander it away. We should take full advantage.

There! I knew I could justify it with some kind of grand, meaningless statement!  

Let’s just not acknowledge the fact that in the amount of time it took to write this post I could have seen the concert and gotten a beer with our friend to celebrate…