34 crept up on me.
First because I spent the better part of the year thinking I was turning 35.
Secondly because we moved to a new house, our first house (hence the horrendous blog absence over the past month plus).
And third of all because I’m busier right now than I have been since I first left my 9-5 to become a full-time writer.
I usually have my Topanga birthday adventure mapped out weeks in advance. 48 hours prior I do a dry run with Google map traffic predictions. I even pre-write a little of this annual blog post so I can be more efficient with time on the big day.
Right now it’s 9:14am, I just started writing and I don’t know what I’m doing after.
I don’t even have a special birthday outfit planned. It’s that bad.
But I realize as I sit here in my pajamas (that I walked the dog in), un-showered (going on day two) and oddly not stressed about the fact that I have not orchestrated my ideal birth celebration (aside from the outfit part), that there’s something fitting about me being ill-prepped to ring in another year of life (by my standards).
Some big things happened to me during my 33rd year.
Some were personal (the house, some dog stuff, I stopped highlighting my hair).
Some were professional (a script sale, an agency exit, I just pitched a new project 14 times in 8 days).
But every single one happened because I trusted my gut. I knew that I needed/wanted/was right about something and I got it/did it/wrote it.
That is not something that comes naturally to a girl that pre checks traffic for her annual birthday shopping expedition.
I find it very annoying that they’re right about aging. You mature. You know yourself better. You get smarter than you were when you thought you knew everything at 27 (or, if you’re me, 16). You trust yourself more because you have more evidence of your gut thoughts working out to be the right thoughts.
Or is it that you get tired of trying to figure out what you’re supposed to do/think/be?
Is the gut -> brain relationship more about a lack of fear or a lack of giving a shit about being afraid? What flips the switch from I’m not sure about this slash anything to I know this is right, and I’m doing it?
I think the answer is as annoying as the question.
I think it’s birthdays.
And today I’m really grateful for it.
So I’m going to shower and then put on the same ripped jeans and tank top that I wore on Friday because they were very comfortable. And then I’m going to walk around my new neighborhood. I want to get my bearings (shops wise) and I want to have lunch at this place I keep passing (Mouse-something?). This afternoon I have an exciting TV pitch meeting. Tonight I’ll have some drinks, but I let R decide the spot.
And tomorrow I will be 24 hours wiser than I was today. (with the potential addition of one newly purchased birthday night outfit, fingers crossed).