Dear Mrs. Simmons –

I’m writing to you because I am deeply disturbed by Ray Rice punching Janay Palmer unconscious inside an Atlantic City elevator, the NFL’s responses over the past months and Janay Palmer’s latest statement to the media. As a woman and human, I imagine you are confused and upset too. This conversation on MSNBC does an excellent job of recapping my feelings.

Of course I am also writing to you because you are the wife of Bill Simmons, one of the most well-respected and popular journalists in sports. I was thrilled to read his Tweet on this matter: “Ravens have to waive Rice today or they are cowards. New video is appalling. I’d like to see someone in the NFL do the right thing for once.” I am a fan of your husband’s work, and my own husband, R, is a devotee. It was actually R’s idea that I write to you after I told him that I was boycotting the NFL until I feel better about their messaging on this issue and treatment of women overall. “I respect that,” he said after some debate on the issue, “but why not think bigger?”

We women can and should boycott too. The NFL does claim that we make up 50% of their audience and women in sports media are an incredible force, but it will be even more powerful if the men who love us do the same. Let’s turn off our TVs, avoid the sports bars, and not attend the games.

Why? Because the NFL needs to know that they are nothing without their fan base, and their fan base is not OK with what happened with Ray Rice and has happened many, many times over the years (here is a Slate article that outlines some of that history).

But the NFL suspended Ray Rice indefinitely. The NFL knows they messed this one up. The NFL has been taking steps to curb domestic violence in the league with stricter punishments. All true. But what will ensure that they think twice before messing up again? Our swift and unilateral response; a message that there are consequences.

This is not like so many social justice and human rights issues that feel too big to tackle – that’s why I’m taking such a strong stand. The NFL can change their culture. They can adopt better policies. They can enact stronger penalties. It won’t even cost them that much money. That’s why this issue is so pressing to me; it can be fixed if we care enough. We have the power to prove the NFL is not too big to fail and that we are not so obsessed with the sport that we’ll let them get away with anything.

So Mrs. Simmons – I’ll make my husband give up football this weekend if you make your husband do it too. I know this may raise objections:

• Not watching won’t make a difference. I disagree. I think it will result in a PR storm that will prompt action.
• Women forcing things on their husbands is archaic. Maybe, but it works. It ended a civil war in Liberia.
• It’s not the other teams’ faults: I know, but everyone has to sacrifice for the sake of change. 
• It’s not Bill’s responsibility. This one is tough because I agree, it’s not. And I am sorry to bring you both into this; I just literally don’t know what else to do. I believe that if Bill Simmons publicly boycotts football this weekend, football will change. It might be slow, and people might be really pissed, but it will make a massive statement.

• And finally, no one will really do it. For the past month millions of people have been dumping buckets of ice water on their heads, videotaping it and uploading it to social media, raising more money for the ALS Association than any campaign ever (over $100 million). Everybody from Justin Timberlake to the New York Jets have done it because of the greatest motivator known to man, next to money of course: peer pressure. I think we can get them to avoid their TVs for two days.

With love and deep respect for you and your family,
Jessie