At three weeks in a row this has fast become the longest series in 20-Nothings history. Except that this week I’m changing it.
Once (sort of) again — a Text From Last Night text:
(216): He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This week, audience participation style:
What’s in your booty call contract — or — eerr — if you had a booty call contract because you were ever accidentally that girl/guy — what might it include?
I seeded the question to some friends yesterday. Below are their responses. Add yours in comments!
- Never ever bring food with you upon arrival and proceed to eat that food prior to whatever is going to happen. If you bring it for both of us, maybe, but if you bring only enough for yourself, leave.
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It’s called a booty call because you have to be decent enough to place one versus shoot me a text. Text me and you’ve lost your chance.
Do NOT, I repeat, NOT ever finish, get dressed and go. back. out. You can stay or you can go, but if you make it clear you’re leaving to go back to a bar I will hurt you.
Never refer to what we are doing as a booty call. We both know what it is.
Do not make an appointment for a future booty call prior to or directly after the one we’re currently having. i.e. — if you say, “so, same time next Friday?” I will never respond to you again.
Turn your phone off. Not silent. Not vibrate. Off.
If you call me, you’re coming to me. Don’t call at 2am and say, “would love for you to come over.” Yeah, I bet you would.
I’m pretty easy-going unless it comes to socks. You even so much as kiss me with those socks still on and I will end it right there. I don’t know why. I just hate them.
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I prefer texts to calling. Hearing myself out loud make the arrangements would give me the hibbidy-gibbidies.
Also, what about a rule about one text (or call) and wait for a response. None of this text me 13 times at 2am on a Tuesday. Admittedly (sp?) we do assume that risk.
Additional Rule – Brush your teeth, chew some gum, rinse out with Scope…do SOMETHING so you don’t wreak of whatever you ate/drank/smoked before you came over.
And – Ditto on the socks off. One boyfriend (I know this is supposed to be about booty calls, but oh well) said he had cold feet from circulation problems and had to sleep in socks. Fine. But take them off during the action and you can put them back on after. Leaving them on is just weird.
Do not call me babe, sweetie, hot stuff, or anything else to suggest that you have forgotten slash do not know my first name.
Rule 1) If I say don’t come over, there’s probably a good reason. Whining will not change it.
Somewhat related… if it IS more than a booty call, don’t only call at booty-call times. I will stop calling back.
Do not call and want me to tell you what I’m supposedly going to do to you. Come over and find out. I’m not a call girl, she at least makes 4.99 a minute.