Back to this issue of going on dates with people you are not attracted to and want no future with…

There is a common theory in the modern dating world that practicing dating is the smart and logical way to be a better dater. Not to secure more dates, but to be primed for top dating performance once the right date comes along.

And so people say things like, “yeah, I’m not really interested, but, hey, it’s good practice.”

It’s the same concept as practicing interviewing with jobs you don’t really want — the goal being to fine tune skills at talking about your qualifications while not sounding nervous and/or cocky – to be an expert sales person of yourself-as-potential-employee.

With dates practice it’s to fine tune your skills at talking about yourself while not sounding nervous/cocky/desperate – to be an expert sales person of yourself-as-yourself.

Aside from the obvious fact that it’s not nice to use people as practice for when someone better comes along (this should be obvious…), I have a few issues. I can’t say that I’m fully yay or nay on the matter, or that I haven’t done it myself a few times, but here’s how I see on both sides, of the female side:

Pluses:

• Guys are a lot alike as a gender, so it could really be that experiencing a wide “variety” of them in a dating scenario will help you understand them and thus react to them better. Sorry, but that really seems like fact
• It is really nice to go out to dinner. Sorry, but that is fact.
• You could have some major personality flaws that could become clear through rounds of practice-dating. I’m not sure how though because if a practice guy said, “wow, do you ever stop talking about yourself?” you’d say – “eeww, whatever, you’re just a practice date” so that’s not really so helpful…

Minuses:

• Guys you’re not really interested in may not make for the best dates. Therefore the data you’re collecting on these practice dates is false and/or pointless. If you then apply that knowledge to future dates with potentially correct guys, you will fail.
• The goal in a first date scenario is not to deliver the most well-rehearsed version of yourself. That’s called acting. Dating can sometimes feel like acting but if it does then you’re doing it wrong.
• Yes many things in life require practice to develop the skills to succeed under pressure. They should not include eating while answering basics questions about you life.
• You can’t practice for an unknown. Unless you are practicing dating with so many guys that you’ve actually encountered most possible dating scenarios, each situation is unique. You don’t know what they’ll say or ask or if/when/how they’ll lean in for a kiss. This is not debate prep.

Okay, so I sit on the nay side.
Bottom line: there’s no harm in going out with someone you’re not 100% sold on but that’s not called practice. It’s called open-mindedness.
I suspect we sometimes call it “practice” because we fear people are judging our decision to go out with the guy in question. In this case what we really need to practice not caring what other people think. Aaww.