This week I learned the meaning of the phrase, “this book proposal isn’t going to write itself.”
There have been some dark, dark times over the course of the 100 pages I’ve put down (#humblebrag), but the silver lining of it all is my new and improved list of tricks to force myself into writing when I in no way, shape or from want to write. If you are not a writer you are probably wondering why it would be so hard to do the thing you are so desperate for people to acknowledge that you do, pay you to do, and think you are cool solely because you do it. If you are a writer you are probably like, get to the tricks already before I start shaming myself for the amount of wasted writing time I’ve already spent reading this damn post!
Regarding the former, I will say this: just because it’s so cool and amazing a job that thousands of us are doing it for free every single day doesn’t mean we don’t also hate doing it, okay? Regarding the latter, I hope you enjoy the below! Though, after writing these I will admit that they cater to a very specific set of people that includes me and the TV character version of myself that will never actually make it to air. But I wasted so much time that I should have spent writing my book proposal that I had to pretend this was really worthwhile for humanity.
I re-organize all the files on my desk top
It helps when attempting to want to write to remember that you are actually sometimes good at writing, at least in your own opinion.
Indulging in the life of a full-time writer is a nice reminder that this is the life you’ve always wanted to lead you so you really stop trying to find that champagne sequined blazer that’s been sold out on Rusched.com for two months now and write something. My choice activity is taking my computer to a lovely park, that doesn’t have wifi.
Sometimes the third flannel shirt option was actually wrong and the first flannel shirt choice might turn out better.
A vomit draft is when you write lots of crap really fast in an effort to get your creative juices flowing. It never really works for me, but when times are super tough I do it just to see words typed out on a blank page and report back to R that I, “wrote a lot of pages today.”
See above x 4. Reverse it.
This would probably work if I wasn’t too scared to do it.
This is a serious one. Sometimes it really does just take closing out the rest of the world to achieve maximum focus. It also helps you hear your inner voice best when shaming the hell out of yourself.
Unfortunately this only proves helpful with comedy writing, and right now I’m working on a super depressing drama. While that might benefit from a slow, lyrical dance to that saddest-song-in-the-world by Adele, I’d just end up waisting double the time crying my eyes out.
“Sit there” time ranges from 15 seconds to 2 days.
My how quickly we forget that that thing we love to do so much is actually not so miserable to do…
Jessie Rosen
Jessie Rosen resides physically in LA and mentally in NY. She writes scripts, books, articles, sex stories, branded content and killer e-mails.
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Baths. Douglas Adams swore by baths as a writing technique. On days when the writing was going badly, three or four baths might happen.
Oh, and sandwiches.
this post made me want to change into flannel pajamas. Thank you. Oh and order a caramel macchiato (sp?) from Starbucks. Sadly, I’m too lazy to do either at the moment but both sound lovely.
I am all about the vomit draft. If I didn’t remind myself constantly that no one ever has to read this horrible drivel I’m spewing I would never get a single sentence down.
Hi Jessie! This post is exactly what I needed to read, being that I’ve taken the plunge and gotten back to writing. If it turns into a lucrative pursuit, then my bank account and I will be smiling. I found your blog on the Forbes top 100 sites for women- congratulations on this accomplishment! I’ve had fun skimming through your posts- since they date back to 2007 I haven’t been able to inhale them all. Can’t wait to see what’s next!
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