20-Nothings Travels: How To Survive a Day-Long, Crazy-Hot Pool Party in Six Easy Steps

July 1, 2014

20-Nothings Travels: How Travel Makes Me Feel Small in the Best Possible Way

July 1, 2014

20-Nothings Travels: Roadtripping Miami to Key West, 18 worlds in 3.5 Hours

July 1, 2014

The rest of my time in Miami was as times in Miami tend to go (I now know), totally over-the-top, incredibly decadent, and mostly spent at a pool. Saturday day featured the iHeartRadio ultimate pool party, which looked like this:

Saturday night featured a Ham-Hattan (bacon-infused bourbon) plus the rest of whatever goes in a Manhattan aka the Jon Hamm meets Don Draper of cocktails, which looked like this: 

And Saturday after hours featured these absolutely incredible bracelets that light up with the beat of the music. The geniuses at VISIT FLORIDA provided them for the eve, so if there way any questions as to the general quality of this state, the answer is, genius. They looked like this:

P.S. Jennifer Lopez is a god among women who puts on a show that is somehow as down-to-earth and charming as it is jam-packed with hunky Adonises, Fly Girl dance moves and Versace body suits (aka the opposite of down-to-earth). I loved it so much. 

But my time was up in the city where the heat is on (because humidity didn’t fit Will Smith’s beat) on Sunday morning when I set sail (in a Hyundai Accent) for Key West, part two of the adventure. We’ll do this like we did the #honeymoonacrossamerica (but much sadder because we’re without R).

DAY 3: Miami Beach, Fl to Key West, FL
(note: The Keys is best experienced as a string of detours that end up equaling a vacation). 
  • Boardwalk PizzaObviously couldn’t resist stopping for a slice of Jersey’s finest, in southern most Florida. On the plus side, they got the colors of the state highway signs just right. On the minus, not so much the pizza, but it makes a fantastic second breakfast none the less. Sub sandwiches looked incredible. I didn’t get to speak to the owner, but I imagine he is a guy named Sal originally from Bayonne and somehow my cousin.

  • Robbie’s of IslamoradaRobbie’s is one of those places that both locals and tourists swear by, which is a rare and fun find. For $1 (you read that right), you can feed the Tarpin (which I was calling Turpin until five minutes ago). Tarpin are giant “fish” (because they’re more like dragons that swim), which leap out of the water like the sea monster in The Princess Bride to snatch the fish out of your hand. It’s so great! I don’t have a video of myself doing this because I’m traveling alone and “can you take a video of me” seems like a big ask. 
visible from route 1

actual size, giant

  • Finally made it to Key West for a first slice of Key Lime pie at Hogfish Bar and Grill, so named for the delicious hog fish (a flaky white with some sweetness not unlike a scallop), which I didn’t know existed. They don’t have a website because this is Key West. Just as someone on the street about it, and they’ll point you in the right direction. What does have a website is Smilin’ Bob’s Smoked Fish Dip which you MUST FIND THE MOMENT YOU GET TO THE KEYS. It’s sold in grocery stores here or at Hogfish. Eat it as much as possible, and then take some home. But this paragraph was supposed to be about the Key Lime pie, which is equally incredible.
    it’s not supposed to be lime-colored


  • And finally, our sweet little Inn just across the street from the Hemingway Home in Key West. You can walk all of Duvall Street (the Bourbon Street of Key West) and end up on Mallory Square (the Faneuil Hall of Key West) for a Sunset Celebration (the nightly circus show that isn’t like anything, anywhere) from here.

  • The fish-shaped mailbox is a requirement of The Florida Keys

  • The palm trees here have these wooden holders on the sides that look like palm tree leg braces. I’m told that’s to help the young palms grow up to be tall and straight, which I find slightly discriminating.  

  • Sandals Outlets are to the Keys as Cherokee Outlets are to the middle of the country. I didn’t go to one because I’m involved in a very serious bet with R about how long I can go without buying clothing, shoes or accessories, but I wanted to very, very badly. 

  • Route 1 is the highway between Miami and Key West. I call it a highway because that’s what maps call it, but in reality it is a one lane road that looks like something out of Driving Miss Daisy II (yes, I know how it ends. It’s just II because these are modern times, though slightly less modern in the Keys). 

Today I asked a Florida Keys park ranger why he decided to apply for a position in The Keys and he said, “because I wasn’t ready to enter the real world yet.” He didn’t mean the world outside park rangering; he meant the world outside this enchanted place that seems somehow trapped in time. I’ve been here for 48 hours, and I totally get it. 


  1. How (Dr.Brave) Help Me To Stop A Divorce And Save My Marriage Today?

    My name is Mark Davis, my family and i live in UK.It was after seven years i got to discover that my wife was unfaithful to me.I didn’t know what was going on at first but as she got deep in the affair with her new lover, i felt that our marriage was on the rocks.I notice that she no longer light up when i touch her or kiss her in her neck and her chest cos she really liked it when i did that, she also usually get naked in front of me but when she started seeing that guy she stopped it.I remember asking her if i have done anything that makes her feel irritated when i am around her then she gives silly excuses that she has been feeling stressed up and that she need space for a while.I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy is going on.I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on.And in a week time he brought me prove that my wife that i have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with her high school lover.I had picture of her walking out a of a restaurant with him and many other photo of them kissing in public like she will never be caught by someone that knows she is my wife.I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together she could this to me.That same night i showed her the pictures that i got from my private investigator.She didn’t look at it before saying, that she is seeing someone and she know that i just found out about it.Then she said that she is in love with him.At that moment, i didn’t know if to kill myself or to kill her but the button line is that if i was going to kill anyone it was going to be me cos i was so much in love with her to even think of thinking to hurt her.As time when on she asked for a divorce and got it and even got custody of our daughter and i was all alone by myself.For a year i tried all i could to get her back with the help of my seven year old daughter.Even at that all effect was in vain, i used the help of her friend but turned out all bad.I know most people don’t believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result i most say was impressive.And i know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER Dr brave really made my life much better cos he gave me my family back.He didn’t ask me to pay for what he did for me all i was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and believe that he had the power to help me.Like he said, he was going to do something that will make her reset her love and affection for me just as it has always been.My wife told me she woke up and realized that she should have never left me that i am all she needs.To make thing clear, her life with her high school lover was great before Dr brave castled the spell they had no disagreement on anything.The guy said it himself that why she broke up with him is unexplainable.Only Dr.Brave can do such a thing contact him to solve your problem with his email:bravespellcaster@gmail.com ,or kindly visit he website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com .

  2. !!! How Dr.Ukaka Restore My Broken Marriage And Bring Back My Lover !!!

    My name is Janise Gayle am from Canada,i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted jato for the return of my husband to me, he told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then he told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he jato casted on him that make him come back to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you jato for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact him email: freedomlovespel@gmail.com

Leave a comment