Is it still a series if I change the way it works every week?
I think yes.
This week: a post based on a Text From Last Night text.
(317): when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I’d say truer words have never been texted, but further down the page there’s one that speaks to the fact that unfulfilling sex is just a frustrating favor.
Even so — the fact that most single life satisfaction is destroyed by consuming fear of staying single for life is among the truer things we have going.
Being single at certain times in your life is fun — very fun. You’re independent. You’re on the market. You always get to eat what you want to eat for dinner. You can dance along to So You Think You Can Dance in the jazz shoes you had your Mom send because you couldn’t stand to suffer through another season on the couch and no one will look at you like they no longer want to sleep with you. The list goes on.
Being single for your entire life is — according to Cathy comic strips and the Bridget Jones collection — brutal. I won’t list out the reasons because I don’t want to think about them.
And so because of that overwhelming fear of ending up miserable once we finally get over the joys of being single we start in on the misery while still in the midst of independent bliss.
If you told me that at the age of 28 I would meet the absolute right person for me and end up happily married with 3 kids by the age of 35 I’d stop complaining, get back to work, and abort my unending mission to enjoy skim milk in my coffee. Even if you said, “I’m not going to tell you when exactly, but it will happen before you’re 35 and no, you don’t have to leave Manhattan to find him” I’d say, phew thanks and then go about my life in my neighborhood filled with gays and NYU Professors in their 60’s.
Today I 75% love not being in a series relationship. The 25% of me that hates it is 5% because of movies and dates and gifts and 20% because shit-what-if-I-never-end-up-in-one?!
It’s not unlike Winter in Boston. I’d have enjoyed it a lot more if you could have told me exactly when it was going to end, and that it would hit before June every year.
What would we do differently if we knew when it was going to happen? Or even just that it was going to happen? That brings up a whole other question…
How much of one’s behavior is linked to the constant pursuit of a partner? Who would we be if we stopped trying to be with someone else?
More on that tomorrow.
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Thank you for justifying my fears and reminding me I am not alone in my mid-20’s single girl thinking 🙂