I rarely dole out straight advice on topics unrelated to fashion (fyi, you need tangerine orange harem pants for Summer), but I actually believe I have something constructive to say on the topic of traveling with a significant other. R and I just got back from a trip to New Orleans in which we spent 18-hour days enduring 200% humidity with zero knowledge of the city, and we still like each other! Here are some factors that I believe contributed to this fact:

1. Go somewhere you both want to go – if you go to Chicago because your boyfriend really wants to go to Chicago even though you’ve been a bunch, don’t particularly like it, and have been dying for an island get-away, you will be less happy. This seems simple, but it’s not because couples want to please each other and be accommodating. Don’t do it. Be very honest about your location preferences, and find something that works for you both. If you cannot do that successfully, break up.

2. Don’t skimp on travel conveniences – This is a “do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do” rule. We tend to take red-eyes because we A. live in L.A. so we’re used to them, B. are freaks about maximizing time in a given place and C. they’re usually cheaper.  Starting off a trip on an exhausted foot is not the best way to go, so think about that when booking a flight that, say, takes off at 1:30 am.

3. Don’t be shy about what you want to do – If it will give you endless pleasure to visit the destination’s largest hat store, say so. Same goes if you’d kill to take in a baseball game or see a crazy show or walk to a weird part of town. Yes, this is a trip for both of you, but it’s also a trip for each of you, so don’t be a martyr if there’s something you really want to experience, even if it’s an ancient perfume shop that’s fairly out of the way…and closed.

4. Know when it’s touch-and-go –  When I start to get cranky I avert my gaze from things and use really short sentences. I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m getting cranky/tired because I don’t want to cause a problem or make us go home early, but it’s happening, and I usually can’t stop it. R has developed a special skill for seeing this start to go down, and suggesting some sort of band-aid (read: “more drinks or bed, J?”). I would do the same for him except he doesn’t seem to do cranky. That said, when he starts to touch his hair a lot I know it’s too hot wherever we are, and we need to leave slash find some cold seltzer, stat. Learn these ticks, then learn what to do when they happen. There’s nothing worse than someone going, “what’s wrong? you look weird…are you okay? do we need to leave? are you upset?”

5. Plan some, not all – R and I are both inclined to make a reservation for breakfast, lunch and dinner with scheduled stops in between, but for this trip we only made a few plans with the hopes that insane things would unfold due to our unbridled spontaneity! As a result we enjoyed an amazing lunch at a place that required a reservation and an equally amazing crayfish boil in the back alley of a bar at 10pm. If you don’t leave room for those kinds of things to happen, they won’t. Don’t plan accordingly.

6. Be extra nice to each other –  You should always be really nice to each other, but you should be EXTRA nice to each other when you’re on vacation. Things are likely going to get a little stressful when you’re traveling, so if you’re extra nice about simple things (you look nice today! thank you so much for carrying the bag! why don’t I go get us two waters? I’m going to hug you in public for no reason!), you’ll stack up the collective good will so that when it’s 110 degrees and you’re standing in direct sunlight, you’ll both be starting from a happier place.

7. Play Mom/Dad, Sort of – Vacations were simple and fun when we were little because our parents did everything, and when someone is taking care of you, you feel comfortable/protected/great, etc. Vacationing sans parents means that someone needs to be in charge of the sunscreen and someone else needs to be in charge of not losing the room key. Pick your jobs, and do them well, especially if your job is sunscreen and your boyfriend uses spf 85.

8. Rotate Navigating Duties  – If one person is navigating throughout the entire trip, then that person is always in control. Switch off. Make your boyfriend get you guys around the city the entire first day, then you take over on the second day. It’s more fun if you’re both invested, and this way if one person makes a mistake the other is less inclined to criticize because it’s their turn soon enough.

9. Choose Not to Fight – If it usually pisses you off when your boyfriend leaves his jeans on the bedroom floor, let it go. If it drives you crazy that your girlfriend takes 30 minute showers, let it go. If you prefer the TV at volume 8 but he likes around an 11…you get it. You’re on vacation. Calm down, and leave the OCD at home.

10. Snacks –  Remember when your mom/dad would surprise you with a fruit roll-up at exactly the right moment? The power of a surprise snack cannot be underrated. Pack some in your bag (nuts, crackers, Gushers?!) and suggest others when you pass a store or stand (NoLa specific: sno cones, rose mint iced T’s, barrels of crawfish).

BONUS! The Vacation-end Speech –  When I was little, we drove to Florida every Spring Break to visit my grandparents, and when we pulled into the driveway at the end of the trip home my parents would turn around in their front seats to face the four of us in the back and give a little speech about how well-behaved we were throughout the trip. They’d say, “you were all such good girls during our trip, and because you were such good girls we can keep visiting Mommom and Poppop in Florida and takes trips to other exciting places. Thank you for being good to each other, and good for us.” I’m not kidding. This really happened. As such, it is engrained in me to end each vacation with a little speech about how great it was, how lucky I feel, and how excited I am for the next trip. R laughs throughout this entire display because it looks as ridiculous as it sounds. That said, it is lovely and I will always do it.

What did I forget??