My Cheap Jeans Obsession Confession

March 10, 2015

For a Half Hour On Tuesday I Regretted Getting A Dog (And Other Brutal Honesty)

March 10, 2015

The (Strong and Highly Recommended Case) For Acting Like You Don’t Want a Boyfriend

March 10, 2015

Yesterday I had the delightful opportunity to sit down with a majestic tiny dog named Blanche and her owner Iliza Shlesinger as a guest on Iliza’s podcast, Truth and Iliza.

We talked about many things – how I hate Ariana Grande’s pony tail and Iliza loves it, how I’m not technically Jewish even though Iliza thinks I am, how we both really hate noises that we really hate…

Then somehow the conversation turned the dating and relationship (because I turned it there, I’m sure), and I mentioned that one of the only reasons I am lucky enough to be married to R today is because I wasn’t trying to date him when we met. Iliza agreed, wholeheartedly, and then she told all the lady listeners to turn the podcast up because this was the most important information they were going to hear all day slash life. Here is a paraphrase of what I said (but please still listen to the entire podcast when it comes out because it features much more gold):

When I met R, I was of the mindset that I should not have a boyfriend. I had just moved to Los Angeles from New York. I was about to fully pursue my career as a writer after many years of being too afraid. I was living in a house with two gay man who loved to dance. It was not the time to be locked down. And yet, there was R.

We met before I even moved to L.A. so he was already in the picture when I settled in, and in his version of that picture we were together. That was more than fair. We had kept in touch all summer, and I reciprocated all the romance to that point. Then I freaked and tried to avoid becoming his girlfriend.

And when I did that, things really got good.

To be clear – we did not stop hanging out because he did not stop asking me to do very fun things all the time (which is advice for the daters, not the datees. Don’t give up). But when were together, I didn’t hold back any of the dumb things I wanted to say. I didn’t pretend to want to do things just because R wanted to do them. I didn’t even wear special outfits loosely but tastefully themed to the event of the day. I was myself, fully, 100% of the time.

Maybe in the back of my mind I thought, if this guy likes me like this then we might have something here… Something worth giving up the amazing and exciting L.A. dating scene (if you live here then you know that is a joke). But honestly, there wasn’t much more thought beyond that. This wasn’t some game I was playing to test R’s love. I just turned off the DATE ME PLEASE NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE lights and acted like the version of myself that I would no doubt become after a few months of dating. R followed suit. And so, finally, two people were behaving exactly like the people that they will be after all the pressure and production goes away.

That’s hard to find these days, Iliza and I decided. We don’t go on dates as we are; we go on dates as the people we think we’re supposed to be based on the Facebook profile of the guy we’re dating. But how are you at dinner when you’re not trying to get a guy to put a ring on it? What do you want to dress like if you’re not worried about what he thinks? Do you even want to go to that restaurant at all??

I’m not saying you should play the standoffish mean girl who doesn’t need a boyfriend, thank you very much. I’m saying you should act like whatever woman you want to be so that the right man, woman or person for that version of yourself – the real version – can finally find you.

(This message is approved by Blanche the wonder dog)

5 comments

  1. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn’t love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..

  2. i want to use this medium to testify for what Dr Ishvara has done in my life . i had issues with my husband that lead to a divorce i was so heart broken and was so financially down also, things became hard for me cause i was left alone to take care of two kids , it was like the enemies have taken the greatest part of my life . i was not engaged in any job or business cause he never wanted me to work , he just want me to be a full time house wife , because he wanted me to take very good care of the family, so things were very rough for me, so i need no option than to engage in some kind of job so that i can earn little money to take care of my children needs and the feeding, that was how i continued doing it, until i met a very good friend of mine and explained everything to her , she felt pity on me and that was how she introduce me to a powerful spell caster called Dr Ishvara. he told me some spiritual things i needed to do, which i did not less than 1 day my husband came to me begging for forgiveness telling me he made a mistake divorcing me and that he will never do such a thing again in his life that was how we resolved every issues we had and got back together again even much more happier and stronger than before. how Dr Ishvara did everything still remain a mystery to me up till now. thanks to Dr Ishvara, you can contact him also if you seek his help , his email is ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

  3. Do you need an urgent spell to get your ex back, there is a great spiritualist who can help you, his name is Dr Brave!!

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn’t love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. { bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..

  4. Big thank you to Sorceress mama jaja, I don’t want to go into the whole long story..but bottom line is I have been doing no contact and he has emailed and phoned and I have ignored….now I know for a fact he is PISSED ..big time…he has written some things on his profile that I know were meant for me to see…what do I do??? I am panicked he will just say for get it.. I order love spell from this powerful sorceress, mamajajasorceress@yahoo.com and my boyfriend came back to me.

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